House of Commotion: Assurance

"Ogendegbe, ire ni ko moye
Isale eko, you no dey for Mole
Brother onitafi, se’we ni wo wa we
Asiri eko, oti tu loju ewe
Kosewe, kosegbo, kosewe, kosegbo
kosewe, kosegbo, kosewe, kosegbo
Won ti po’mi gutter po, oju ti dirty
Won ti po chemical po, awon omo science students
Kosewe, kosegbo, kosewe, kosegbo
kosewe, kosegbo, kosewe, kosegbo
Won ti po’mi gutter po, oju ti dirty
Won ti po chemical po, awon mo science students"

What the heck, argh! This house ehn, I am tired.

"Rose, Nneka, Charity, Queen or what are your useless names, shey na only you people they stay for this house ni?
Abi na una papa build this house?
Make una no try am ooo, I go treat una fuck-up o.
Shey because una dey visit baba landlord for the other room na reason why person no fit sleep for afternoon for this house?
Abi una just dey mad ni, see my head no straight ooo, all of us go die here if una no reduce the volume of that your sound."

Oops! Pardon my manners, I am Grace the one Fine Bobo is falling for.

My sincere apologies for my foul languages earlier, I am only like that when I am pissed  and today's own was just too much.

I have been having difficulty sleeping since Davido released his single Assurance for Chioma, I've been thinking about my life and the men in it.

All of them joined together, cannot buy me a badly used 1996 Toyota Camry.

Sleep has left my eye since then as I have been planning on how to assure Fine Bobo, something in me tells me he is rich and is only coding as he looks for his life partner.

That guy never cooks in this house, he is always coming in with branded packs from eateries at the end of the day, it is either he is a gateman at one eatery like that which is impossible (His skin is too fresh for that) or he is rich (I remember Mr. Ajayi said he saw him in the latest range-rover in town).

Fine Bobo is my ticket out of poverty, every force (Mama Nkechi) standing in my way be crushed in Jesus name.

Those four girls I shouted at earlier deserved it, they are too nosy and saucy, always carrying twenty twenty  shoulder pads as they walk around and they also stole Landlord from under my nose.

Not that the man is fine or anything like that o, I was just not paying house rent when I was the center of his attention but since the four moved in, they've been servicing him in my stead and the useless man has increased my rent four times since then.

It is more like he is trying to get back his money but I have plans.
Fine Bobo is my plan and he must fall for me.
I would be his Juliet and he must be my Romeo.

Don't mind Mama Nkechi, that woman is a gossip, always into others people's business without minding her own.

Shebi Nkechi, her first born is now pregnant for the mechanic across the road, it is my own sleeping around she would be monitoring.
What is her own gan sef, at least I have continued to refuse her husband countless times (I'm sure she doesn't know her husband wants a piece of the pie).

I am even done with all the men in this house and in my life. All of them can hardly sustain me and ever since the day Baba Suliat's wife came to disgrace me in this house I don't think I want in again.
That woman opened my yansh oooo, but there is God sha.

And it's not as if I kuku advertise myself around, the useless men just come and who am I to stop them from spending their money on me, and I am just repaying that favour.

But Assurance is what I need now and Fine Bobo has my assurance, I see the way He looks at me, no sane man has been able to resist me since my JSS 3 days.

What I have is legendary, and Fine Bobo is also endowed (If you know, you know), the day I first saw him, I fell off where I was standing on.

I must have fine bobo and the guy be dey think say I be correct babe sha.
I am the only one he speaks English to in this house.
Mama Nkechi is just wasting her time, Fine Bobo is mine and I would die there before Mama Nkechi ever lays a finger on him.

I can see her dressed in her Christmas clothes today, she's also been in the kitchen since, waiting for Fine Bobo.

What she doesn't know is that Fine Bobo sent me a text that we should hang-out in the evening when he leaves the office, the bros is making his move and me, I am kuku playing hard since he doesn't know I used to be general property and if Mama Nkechi or anybody at that tries to double cross me, I would show them why my craze gets certificate.

Anyways if you see Mama Nkechi, please tell her to stop fetching water in a basket because Fine Bobo na my assurance o.

"He's the one I want oh
Before my liver start to fail
He's the one I need oh
Before cassava start to hail
And if I ever leave oh
Make water carry me dey go
Far away, far a-way"

Temitayo Jaiyeola.
https://africannarrative165533771.wordpress.com/