House of Commotion: Mama Nkechi.

Make that my tall neighbour look me well today ooo, that bobo fine wella.
I don dey eye am since im pack come this house, wetin he dey do for this kind house gan sef, im skin fresh pass here.

But that Bobo get pride o, he no dey greet person, if im see me dey bathe my children for bathroom im go just carry face go bath for corner.

I dey suspect am with Grace, abi no be the other day I catch her dey looku looku the guy naked body. That Grace get for im body too much, she no fit hold body, na so so tall fine guys she dey follow up and down, man wrapper- na im she be.

Oh! I've been speaking pidgin since, permit my forgetfulness. I kuku went to school and finished secondary school before Nkechi came along and my education had to stop. Yes you guessed right, I am Mama Nkechi, the one with five children that occupies the bathroom in the morning and takes her time like she owns the place. Well I do, but Mama Landlord must not hear ooo.

You see eh, let's forget  my own story of how I ended up married to that wretch of a man and my staying in a typical Lagos Face-Me-I-Slap-You for now.

I have gist for you, hmmm, this house is full of secrets and plenty plenty things. Baba landlord is kuku the chief culprit, that man wants to sleep with almost all the married women in his house, even aunty Jesus is not left out.

That his lizard tongue when he is lusting after women, argh I cannot stand it and I see the way He looks at my 'ikebe' whenever I walk pass him, hmmm I pity his life, does he think he can handle me?

My sights are even set on someone else, Tall dark and handsome Daniel, that speaks correct english, his smell alone gets me wet, I want him but that Grace and her wayward ways.

Is it only her in this house? She has slept with most of the men in this house, she is referred to now has common property and she does not care. But that girl fine ooo and fine bobo don dey look her way, I must step up my game, I kuku get everything pass her.

Mama Solomon is the compound neighbour, everybody fears and respect her, you definitely would not want to be on her wrong side.

Mr. Ajayi learnt that the hard way when he disregarded Mama Solomon and his life did not remain the same, his wife that works in a factory (afternoon shift ooo) somehow walked in on him by 2.30pm when he was busy with one of his many skinny clients. Since that day, all the men in the house treats her as royalty.

Nneka, Rose, Queen and Charity are the Slay Mamas of the house, they all share a room but somehow Instagram has them staying at Banana Island and their pictures on Instagram would make anybody believe that, they somehow have cars on that Application, I am kuku yet to see the cars in real life.

And those girls can be so saucy, they walk around in revealing clothes oo like they own the place, rumour kuku has it that Baba landlord sleeps with them and does not collect house rent from them.

I think I will ask Mama Solomon to confirm, if anyone would know, she is the one.

The day judgement would fall on them, their case would be worse than the Slay Mama that was caught fetching water.

My house is a complete house of commotion. The fights over who stole whose pants are one to look forward to.

Oh! I think I smell my tall neighbour, something must happen today. I am kuku irresistibly dressed and things are showing. And no be say the bobo na saint, I dey kuku hear the hush, ash sound wey those ladies wey dey come visit am they make, today na my turn jere. 

It is time to leave, let me go and give him the food I spent the day cooking, didn't they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach..

Bobo here I come o jere..

Temitayo Jaiyeola
https://africannarrative165533771.wordpress.com/