Lola's Blog

The first power you have as a woman is that you  have a will of your own. It does not really matter how grave or light the situation might be, you have the power to choose. It has been from the genesis. Is he abusing you? ...not taking your love serious? ...getting intimate with the bottle? ...living a lifestyle you can not cope with? Are your emotions playing a fast one on you? There is still something you can do which is to choose. Do you want to be pushed around like a foot mat or you want to hold your ground and stand firm? Choose. Do you want to keep being abused or you want to live a free life? Choose. Do you want to be an emotional wreck not having a hold on your emotions or you want to be confident and hold your head high without having to break down at every level of disappointment? It is up to us to choose if we want to be a goal digger or a gold digger. A testimony or a disappointment. A good example or bad example. It is up to us to...

Lagos, center of excellence. As a friend of mine will say, the hustle and the bustle is where the fascination of the prestigious state lies. There is hardly a day that ain't busy in Lagos. The coming together of the passengers, the bus drivers and their conductors. The mixture of people from the different tribes of the country. The foul languages and the lackadaisical bad habit of throwing trash here and there. The creations trying to survive and make a living under the bridges. The reckless driving and bad roads. The haggling of price between customers and market men and women. The notorious area boys and agberos at the bus stop. The different tertiary institutions that surrounds the whole of the state. The police men and women and their infamous habit of accepting bribe. The highway robbers and the gala and chips sellers. The interesting places that make up for the stress you have endured by giving you an access to have fun and the restaurants that s...

Make that my tall neighbour look me well today ooo, that bobo fine wella. I don dey eye am since im pack come this house, wetin he dey do for this kind house gan sef, im skin fresh pass here. But that Bobo get pride o, he no dey greet person, if im see me dey bathe my children for bathroom im go just carry face go bath for corner. I dey suspect am with Grace, abi no be the other day I catch her dey looku looku the guy naked body. That Grace get for im body too much, she no fit hold body, na so so tall fine guys she dey follow up and down, man wrapper- na im she be. Oh! I've been speaking pidgin since, permit my forgetfulness. I kuku went to school and finished secondary school before Nkechi came along and my education had to stop. Yes you guessed right, I am Mama Nkechi, the one with five children that occupies the bathroom in the morning and takes her time like she owns the place. Well I do, but Mama Landlord must not hear ooo. You see eh, let's forget  my own story ...

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Welcome to May. 

I was in a cab on a sunny day when I looked out of the window and saw a police van with two bodies lying lifeless. Two bodies gone to a phase of timeless existence. A phase of no repentance nor correction nor restitution. Then a question popped up in my mind, Do we live for time or eternity? If we live for time what happens to eternity? Then I figured out we live in time for eternity. We live in time to harness all the potentials given to us from God while we look forward to eternity. We live in time in His Love while we have eternity in view. Our choices and actions in time determines our place in eternity. Our recklessness in time has its effects in eternity and so do our diligence. Everything a man does in time shows where he's headed. TIME IS PURPOSE, ETERNITY IS REWARD. Understand God's purpose for your time and enjoy eternal rewards. Okarekpe Godswill Thompsongodswill90@gmail.com

Recently, I saw a post on a friend's status update stating that the 'O'  in BODMAS is not 'of' that we were taught, I was surprised when I saw that it meant 'order', and at the same time bittered that I only not believed a lie but also taught the younger generation.  Some years back, I had read that the right way to brush up one's teeth isn't just the up and down movement we were taught, and funny enough a friend had argued vehemently that I was wrong. I had recently read, that 21st century illiterates won't be those who cannot read or write but those who cannot unlearn the lies they have been taught to believe.  There are many lies we have been taught to believe, just unlearn and relearn. Kenneth Hagin had said in his book that he had asked his grandfather what he will do if he found out that what he held on to for so long was not the truth, and his grandpa had said he will just discard the lie and embrace the truth. Simple way of...

“What is this nitori olorun?" You ask. You are tired of your hair, even the devil, the father of all liars knows that. You have downloaded videos on how best to rock your natural hair and have poured litres of coconut oil into your hair but the hair detests APC's change. “Ahhh, shebi Omoni Oboli and Adesua are rocking their natural hair well. Why is my own different God?" Your Chi looks down from Heaven but concentrates on His twenty four elders instead. He does not have time for your complains this Saturday afternoon. You make up your mind angrily, you had to relax your hair that day. You cannot condone this rubbish  any longer. You walked into the MANYA MANYA HAIR SALON two streets away. Did you walk? No, you ran. Your hairdresser insists that your natural hair is too weak so you will have to weave it for the next three months. There are many customers waiting to have their hair done so you will have to wait. A middle aged woman comes in minutes later. She g...

A mother's hand is her iron hand. Every mother is expected to rule her household with this hand. She can decide to either remove this hand or keep it on for as long as possible. I used to pray that my mum would remove hers. I was stubborn; she was persistent. With her creative beatings and massive correctional speech, her iron hand fulfilled its purpose. The hand could even influence me with just the narrowing of her eyes in public; disregard to the eye results in painful consequence when we go private. Though iron hand is mostly used by mothers, fathers are not exempted. An iron hand helps you to sit up, it helps you know the right thing to do at the right time, it makes you the obedient child that you should be. I sincerely believe every household need to be ruled by an iron hand once in a while so your children don't grow up naughty, dependent and spoilt. ©Olufunlola

Is it me or is it real? I noticed most times I tell people, "I have an offer for you." The next thing I hear is "Is the pay good?" It strikes me how much we put money over everything. Where did talent grooming go? Where did the urge to impact lives and inspire souls go? Where did the fulfillment in knowing you are doing something to better the society go? Why is it money, money, money? Money has become our lord and savior. I understand the situation of the economy but you giving 20 naira or 50 naira to beggars is not the only way to make a difference. Last I heard, volunteering is willing service to humanity. Jesus volunteered to die for us. We didn't pay a kobo and through him we have eternal life. How much more just putting what you know how to do best into proper use. I know we want to make money, we all need to but once in a while if not most of the time, let's try to be selfless. You never can tell where your selfless acts will...

I am twenty-eight years old. Innocent as that might sound, it is my biggest crime. Nope it is not, I  forgot to mention I am single. My singleness is my biggest crime. I am a female, single and 28. And nope, I am not going to bore you with stories of my failed relationships attempts. Mba! I hate going to weddings. Those gatherings are like visiting hell and bathing with the hot coals, especially family related ones. My God! It is like the spotlight is automatically shifted to me. Everyone always has something to say to me; Uncles, Aunties, Cousins, Grandparents, you just mention them. Their words are usually as the following: “Oh Temi, you are 28, hmmm, you would soon be 30 o. Don’t forget your door closes by then.” “Are there no good men out there again in Lagos (as a case study)? This your standard is even too much gan sef. There are no perfect men out there o.” “Do you know what I went through in the early years of my marriage? Marriage is an endurance trek o...

Liste de contrôle is simply a list of things to be verified and I am so darn sure everyone has one either relationship wise or career wise. I can recall plenty of times when my friends teased me or a friend of ours about dating a guy and our instantaneous reply will be, 'God forbid.' Why? Because we have a liste de contrôle,  consciously or unconsciously. The usual list for ladies run from #sixfoottall to #caring but now some ladies do not care about the six foot with abs and magazine cover body. They just want a guy that will love them and someone who is comfortable enough to make them happy. Same goes for guys, they have this list of how their dream girl should be or what assets she should possess but it is important to know that there is no dream girl or dream guy anywhere instead, you are the one to make your girl or guy become your dream partner. I can literally see some people scrunching their face, 'Why do we have to go through this?' Because you are the one...

Silence is beautiful, no? I read a book of recent on relationships and I learnt that most times, as women, as humans in general, we do not need to nag and go on and on and on about how hurt we are or how insensitive the other person is. All we need to do is approach the situation with a new technique which is 'Silence'. Despite the fact that silence is the absence of sound, do you know its impacts are more profound than any words you could ever speak? Silence helps a lot, it saves marriages from being destroyed, it saves hearts from being broken and it helps to self correct without a single word being said. Silence is a tool that even as a writer we need to imbibe because it helps you see more, listen better and think deeper. It helps you observe and above all, it makes you an intellectually inclined being as a result of it. Why? Because it is in the times when you are quiet that you pick up words and ideas from others and when you speak, you speak wisdom. In other words,...